Brother and Sisters

As Lexy heads to college this week, I’m reminded of the close relationship that I have with both of my sisters.

With Alexis, it has always been easy to relate to her.  She’s the sweetest air head that I know, and reminds me a lot of me. She’s a mix of bad girl, attitude, and a naive innocence that could at one time identify with.  She loves people, socializing, and partying.  She always has a smile on her face, and is one of the most positive people that I know, despite everything we have been through within the past 8 years.  When my parents divorced, I watched her grow so much, and she became sort of the “mom” when Wendy was away.  Her decisions make me smile sometimes, and I wonder if I would have made them if I had the same amount of leeway when I was her age. I admire her determination to make something of herself, too. Working at the hospital in the morning for class, going to high school, then working at Little Caesar’s at night.  I knew that girl was going places, whether in the Air Force, as a Veterinarian, or going away this Wednesday to college. 

I’ve always been able to talk to Lexy about, well, anything, especially hot gossip or what was going on at home, boys, and relationships. We have similar ways of speaking, love to say “um” and "I was like" at the end of anything, and are not afraid of sharing that plate of nachos. I tell her that her boyfriend’s trash, we argue, we eat our nachos, we laugh, we talk about home some more.  I always used to be a bit protective of her, afraid that her naive kindness would get her into trouble.  But watching her take a leading role in my family and with the boys has made me so proud of her, and I realized that she was growing up faster than I could keep up with.  We’ve come a long way, from 5 kids running around and terrorizing the upstairs, arguing about who is going to do the pile of dishes, and thinking that our lives would stay the same forever. 

I do miss the time we all spent together when I was in high school, with Dominic when he was living with us.  We were co-conspirators. I remember we talked about “moving out of the States” when Dominic graduate, and she said “Yeah, I’m totally moving to Maine.” Other times she wouldn’t know where countries were. Everything, even the Soviet Union, is under Mexico.  Despite my beautiful sister not knowing her geography, she always knows when it’s been too long. She lets me know, and she always has a way of connecting me back with everything that I miss at home.  My roots, and my sister. That girl is a light in my life.  She’s going places and I can’t wait to see what she does.


Alyssa’s wit and deep contemplation is what I love most about her.  She is mature beyond her years, like a little Yoda with a sharp tongue.  Alyssa and I never used to get along until Kyle started teasing her as she grew older.  Somehow, I was fortunate enough to have her come to me for protection.  As she grew older, she began to read more.  Everything around her, in fact.  That girl can out read me hands down.  When I was in my sophomore year of college, she would send me chapters out of a book that she was writing.  I think she sent me more than 150 typed pages of a really thoughtful animé book she was working on.  It was fascinating, and I realized that she had a bigger vocabulary than I did. 

It wasn’t until Pat and Mom divorced that I watched her grow and our relationship grew into what it is today.  The effects weren’t immediate.  I was too engrossed in my own feelings of confusion, anger, and bitterness to realize everyone else’s feelings around me, naturally.  It wasn’t until I moved away to college 2 years later that I realized the impact it was having on my sister.  I could trace the steps of her feelings back to the ones in my own heart. I felt guilty being 400 miles away, wishing I could be there to show her that it would be alright in the end.  But I couldn’t do that.  I watched her grow more bitter and negative, lashing out, wearing black, going “Goth”, and listening to angry music.  Our talks, when I came home for breaks and on the phone, would last hours, trying to convince her to hang on.  It was through these cathartic conversations that we were able to share our experiences that we were dealing with, and to help each other find solutions.  I learned so much about my sister, mostly her strength.  My sister actually had to stay longer than I did, experiencing the divorce from an angle that I could only know about, but not experience.  It took me back to the frustrations in 810 Helen Street and 935 Maple Street, I could feel and remember how she was feeling.  Our bond developed through a common event through with we shared everything.  We were able to heal together. 

As I watch her finishing high school, dating a boy long distance, and possessing still a vocabulary that puts mine to shame, I am reminded of how strong she is.  Her attitude has changed for the better.  I can hear her smile on the phone, and her humor is still as derisive and sarcastic as ever.  Her family and societal commentary makes life a novel, and her path to happiness has made me so proud and relieved. 

Through both relationships I share with my sisters, I have witnessed the meaning of strength and determination through two different experiences.  They have taught me a lot about how to cope with life when it gets seemingly hopeless.  But most of all, they have showed me the power of humor, laughing, and smiling, purging your mind of the negative.  I love all of my siblings, and for different reasons.  Riece is absolutely adorable, the most considerate of another’s feelings and compassionate, and positive, just like Alexis.  Gage has a good heart, and his strength in the face of adversity is admirable.  Kyle is protective of the younger kids and is the absolute master of his inner feelings. Dominic has the most thought-provoking philosophies, which always challenges how I think about EVERYTHING.  He knows who he is, what he likes, and what he wants out of life. His frankness and sound advice are one of things that I appreciate most about him.

Having a big family, though annoying and difficult to deal with at times, has proved to be one of my treasured valuables.  I could imagine growing up by myself.  Through all of our differences, it was our common experiences that have sewn us together in places where nothing and no one can cut.  While I’m here in Egypt, trying to figure out how to adapt and where the hell I’m going, I at least have the satisfaction of knowing who I am. I am the big brother of Alexis, Alyssa, Dominic, Kyle, Gage, and Riece.  As we grow into adulthood, I am not as sad as I thought I would be, but excited to see where we all go.  It’s all just starting for us; it’s been a roller coaster ride of a shared life with surprises at every turn.  I know they know, too; we all have the Memories to prove it.